How to Have Fun Without Your Sailor

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Summer’s here and the livin’ is easy–in theory.

For parents, summer is an endless stretch of days in which the children must be entertained. If you’re lucky enough to have a co-parent, you have help in this endeavour. If you’re single-parenting, either permanently or because your partner disappears for months at a time (Where, oh where has my sailor gone???) planning a summer filled with Kodak-quality memories falls on your shoulders.

Fear not, kind readers! I’m here to share the wisdom gleaned from years of sailor-free summers.

Here are my top three tips for enjoying a summer without your sailor/significant other:

1. Don’t save all the fun stuff for when your sailor returns. When we lived on the East Coast, my boy and I made umpteen visits to Peggy’s Cove. On the West Coast, we spent so much time at Undersea Gardens that the squid waved at us during the show. (Okay, maybe he wasn’t so much waving as flailing when the diver poked him, but it makes for a better story to assume it was a friendly gesture.) Not waiting on a sailor? It’s even more important to get out and do things now. Don’t let life pass you by because you’re waiting to lose those last ten pounds or meet that special person or get that dream job… Life is never going to be perfect, but it can be great fun.

2. Challenge yourself. Over the years, I’ve forced myself to do things I’d never before attempted without sailor-support. One summer our boy was disappointed because our family camping trip was cancelled due to a deployment…so I took him myself. We snagged a primo site right on the beach and between us we managed to get the tent up. Things were wonderful until the rain came…and came…and came. A kind stranger covered our drippy little tent with his tarp. Clearly this wasn’t a positive experience, but it was better than letting my boy watch me mope around all summer because I missed my sailor. Even a miserable camping trip is better than a summer in front of the TV.

3. Enjoy the simple things. If you can’t muster the energy to get away, you can still make the summer special. Children are exhausting, but (cool parenting secret!) the younger they are, the less it takes to impress them. One summer when my boy was really little, we did lots of backyard picnics with the dog. He loved it! (So did the dog and we want to keep our furry friends happy, too, right?) Another special treat–pajama parties! (Woo hoo! Let’s go crazy and get into our pajamas BEFORE dinner!) To really push the boat out, eat in front of the TV with a favourite movie playing. With slightly older children, an afternoon at the park or the beach can be a super duper treat. It doesn’t take much to make children feel special.

Happy summer!

It Was a Good Week

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My sailor and I Skyped Saturday and talked on the phone Sunday. Although we email every day, it’s not as immediate or intimate as our conversations so I treasure our weekend communication.

I’ve noticed a funny thing happening during our weekly conversations. I’m not complaining as much as usual. It’s certainly not because I’m happier than normal so what’s the deal? For years our relationship dynamic has been me analyzing everything and whining about most aspects of my life while my sailor talks me down from the mild levels of anxiety that seem to be my norm.

I’m still complaining–a quick read through previous posts confirms this–just not to my sailor. Instead we’ve been reminiscing about past events (like the two naughty dogs that ate our wedding cake) and planning things we’ll do when he returns. It feels good to be positive and upbeat.

Will this be a permanent change? Probably not. I’ve been a glass half empty kind of girl too long to switch at this point.

Another positive event: I had the opportunity to visit the West Coast of Vancouver Island this week.

I couldn’t take many photos because it was raining and I don’t think my iphone is waterproof. Long Beach isn’t a place that can be captured by a cell phone camera, anyway. It’s too big, too elemental for that.

A visit to this beach is a multi-sensory experience. The surf actually roars–so loud, it’s difficult to have a conversation here during the wild winter months. The air is heavy with humidity and the battleship grey water stretches over the horizon.

It’s a good place to think because stale old thoughts are almost literally blasted away by the stiff breeze.

Maybe I am turning over a new leaf. The old me would have worried about cougars and bears prowling the sand looking for lunch and moaned about my frizzy hair.