The Best Things about a Flooded Basement

002The top five best things about having a basement flood just before Valentine’s Day:

5. When you finally get around to going out for a romantic dinner, the restaurant isn’t busy because all the normal couples celebrated on the 14th. You get to enjoy a peaceful dinner in a near empty restaurant with attentive servers. Plus, you’re so relieved to get out of your damp, stinking house for a couple of hours you don’t even care if the wine isn’t chilled or the pizza has olives.

4. You can kill two birds with one stone regarding chocolate consumption. You’ll be eating the chocolates you received to celebrate V.D. (Valentine’s Day) anyway so you don’t need to take in extra chocolate calories because of flood stress.

3. If you’re considering de-cluttering, a basement flood is a not so subtle nudge in that direction. Nothing encourages de-cluttering like having 90% of your possessions destroyed!

2. Someone else cleans out that creepy closet under the stairs where the spiders live.

And the best thing about having a basement flood?

1. Your vacuum cleaner, conveniently stored in the basement, has been rendered useless. Yes!!! The habitable portion of the house may be fluffy with dust bunnies and Chihuahua hair, but you don’t feel guilty about not vacuuming. You can’t because you don’t have a vacuum cleaner. You were flooded.