The Turkey Vulture

034004
Ding Dong! The strike is dead!

Let us all rejoice as we head back to class three weeks into the school year.

Resuming regular responsibilities after the never-ending summer requires some adjustment. In addition to the early call of the alarm clock and the daily dilemma of what to wear:

1. Normal cooking has now been resumed. No more grazing on bags of salad, frozen pizza and ice cream because I’m too fraught to cook. I’ve got a hearty chicken and vegetable stew bubbling in the crock pot and I’m gearing up to make chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for lunch box treats. Now we’re talking!

2. Not everyone is thrilled with the new schedule. After three months of constant companionship, our needy Chihuahua is less than pleased to be left alone all day when we go to work/school.

3. Kindness comes when you least expect it. Last week, I received something in the mail. I called my sailor.

“Someone sent us a Turkey Voucher!”

“A turkey vulture?”

“Voucher, not vulture.”

Turkey Vouchers are a local thing–a coupon we can exchange for delicious turkey goodness–mmm! Someone, who only put their return address on the envelope, sent me one.

Using my well-developed detective skills (and a reverse address search site), I discovered who sent it and was able to call to thank them. Apparently our turkey benefactors had noticed my stress level going through the roof as the strike progressed and wanted to do something nice for me.

Thank you!

4. Best of all–I had time to contact the Christmas tree farm lady and cancel my journey into the wilderness. I remain gloriously bear bite free as I go back to my real job!

O Christmas Tree!

IMG_0145
As our strike drags on, I’m looking for an alternate source of income.

I thought I’d found the perfect opportunity when I heard of O, a friend of a friend, who recently bought a Christmas tree farm. She’s hiring Christmas tree pruners.

I enjoy visiting farms (especially if they have on site wineries!) and I love Christmas. Could there be a better fit for an uncoordinated striking teacher with little wilderness experience?

I called O, introduced myself and volunteered for duty.

“It’s hard work,” she warned.

“Not a problem,” I gushed.

“Would you like to use clippers or a sword?”

A sword???

“Could you repeat that?”

“Clippers or a sword?” she asked. “Since you’re new to Christmas tree pruning, you might want to start with clippers. The swords are harder to control.”

Have I mentioned I’m one of the least coordinated people I know?

“Put me down for clippers.”

“What about a dog?” she asked.

“What about a dog?” If there’ll be dogs around, it’s a good thing I won’t be swinging a sword through the trees.

“If you have one, you might want to bring him,” she said. “For the bears.”

Bears???

“I don’t think my dog would be good for the bears.”

“Not a problem. You’ll just have to be extra-vigilant since you don’t have a dog to scare them away.”

Is it too late to change my mind and choose the sword?