The Onesie

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I’m always cold.

I don’t like being cold, but I’m too environmentally conscious (read cheap) to turn the thermostat to a comfortable level. In practical terms this means we bundle up–way up–through the long Canadian winter.

Imagine my delight when I discovered the perfect article of indoor cold weather clothing–the adult onesie! This baby wraps me in plush teddy bear softness from scalp to slender ankles. (On the flip side, imagine my sailor’s “delight” when I began wearing my all-encompassing fur suit to bed.)

As I go about my daily routine, I find myself wishing I had my cozy onesie on instead of my day clothes. If only I’d found it in time for Halloween, I could’ve attached ears and a tail and worn it to work for one glorious day!

Recently I discovered the onesie’s only negative quality–it’s impossible to get out of in a hurry.

The contractor we’ve hired to address our house issues turned up almost an hour early this morning.

He knocked on the front door as I was sipping my first coffee of the day. The Chihuahua (never a morning person at the best of times) quivered bleary-eyed, woofing in his general direction. Me? I raced to the bedroom fumbling with the three-foot zipper that bisects the front of my darling onesie so I could climb out of it and get dressed before facing the tradesman.

Sigh, perhaps the onesie is best reserved for lazy weekend mornings when I can lounge around for hours like a content teddy bear.

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17 thoughts on “The Onesie

  1. Oh I love onesies! We’ve had adult versions for a few years over here and I have two and I love them! I hate the cold too. One is like a tiger, complete with ears on the hood, but the other one is technically one you could wear outside, like sweatpants turned into a onesie, no hood, and some kind of sporty thing printed on it that says “Hudson Track and Field 1969”. Of course I never actually would wear it out, but at least if someone comes to the door to deliver something or whatever, I don’t feel like I’m in nightwear!

  2. Onesie or not, I can’t stand the cold. It’s almost the end of spring here (we don’t get snow) and I’m still wrapped up in two jackets. To hell with the early arrival of the contractor. Warmth is more important. Swallow the pride. There’s little option for me, but I can’t stand living in a cold house. I have masking tape around all the windows to prevent leakage of the winter wind. You’ve got me going. I must stop…

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