Makin’ Bacon

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"Do we have any bacon left?"

I nodded.

"Great!" said my boy. "Can I have some bacon?"

I groaned.

Let me explain: I hate bacon! Hate the smell. Hate the grease. Hate the mess. Hate the stuff!

When bacon's on the menu my sailor does the cooking, but he's still at his mother's in Powell River. (He's collecting so much good karma he should buy lottery tickets.) Potential future lottery wins aside, I was on the hook to prepare the bacon for my carnivorous boy.

A quick call to my sailor filled me in on the bacon basics. ("A slow, even heat is the way to go with bacon.")

The actual cooking wasn't too bad, but afterwards…eeew! Do you have any idea how much fat bleeds off three strips of this stuff?

I decided to pour the melted grease into an empty yogurt container. Once it hardened, I could throw it out and avoid having to deal with it.

Like many ideas, this one worked in theory, but in practice–not so much. Did you know hot bacon fat will melt a plastic yogurt container? Neither did I.

Even though I had to deal with a gross slimey mess, I got the last laugh. I cooked the last three slices of bacon today. There's no more left!

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10 thoughts on “Makin’ Bacon

  1. You crack me up Field, I make bacon on the weekends for my man because of all the things he does around the house when I am putting in my time at the office during the week. We have an empty tin can for the hot fat so we don’t melt any bowls, and when the can gets full, out comes a can of baked beans so we can use the empty!

  2. You’ve got me in fits again! Over bacon? I hope your sailor and your boy (and the dog) appreciate the literary talent that glues your household together. Oh, by the way, did I miss the name for the boat?

    • Thank you for the very kind comment! Any appreciation comes in the form of eye rolls and groans whenever I attempt to be funny around my boys. The dog remains devoted to me because I’m the one who feeds her every morning.

      You haven’t missed the name of the boat. We haven’t decided yet. I don’t know what this says about us as parents, but it took less time and soul searching to name our boy.

    • My feelings for bacon go well beyond mere dislike. I can’t eat food that’s touched bacon or been on the same plate as bacon. Due to the popularity of bacon-flavoured items (bacon doughnuts, bacon cheesecake, bacon beverages, bacon chocolate bars…) these are challenging times to be anti-bacon.

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