Thieves’ Oil

005A teacher with whom I work glows with good health and wholesomeness. She’s chugs chunky green smoothies every morning and regularly eats fruit I’ve never even heard of. (Pomelo, anyone?)

She mentioned that she diffuses thieves’ oil in her classroom every morning to purify the air. Since she began this practice, fewer children are away ill and she herself feels better, cleaner, stronger. It’s a miracle elixir.

That was all I needed to hear. I’m not patient enough to peel pomelos and I don’t have a blender, so no viscous kale and dandelion green shakes for me. I stopped at the health food store on my way home.

“Look what I got,” I said waving the bottle at my sailor. “It’s thieves’ oil.”

“What’s it for?”

“It protects against bubonic plague.”

But there’s more! My research (the pamphlet that came with it) indicates thieves’ oil is antifungal, antibacterial and antiviral, and it smells good! It’s a mixture of clove, lemon, cinnamon bark, eucalyptus and rosemary essential oils.

“Among other things, it’s been used by mariners for hundreds of years to fight rot and mold on wooden ships. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.”

Eye roll and big sigh in response.

According to my sailor, the Canadian Navy has yet to discover wonders of the thieves’ oil.

Since the plague is one of the few things I don’t worry about and I don’t clean pirate ships, I’ve found another use for this wonder product. I put a few drops in my bath every evening. It makes the room smell warm and spicy and the fumes eliminate airborne pathogens and foul odours–never a bad idea in the bathroom.

8 thoughts on “Thieves’ Oil

    • It’s a little more gruesome than that. The thieves anointed themselves with this oil before robbing dead and dying plague victims. When they were caught, the judge offered them leniency for their dastardly crimes if they shared their secret to remaining healthy. The thieves weren’t stupid, so they took the judge up on his offer. Instead of burning them alive, the judge ordered them hanged. (He made Judge Judy look like a pussy cat!)

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