Worst of all . . .

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Standards are slipping.

I haven’t vacuumed in so long we’re ankle deep in Chihuahua hair. I’ve given up on dusting. We’re the only house on our street with an angora mantle piece.

But it’s the personal transformation that’s more concerning.

I’m looking pretty rough these days.

If it wasn’t for the bright red blemishes appearing across my face with alarming frequency, I’d be offered a senior’s discount because I’ve become so pale and haggard.

I’ve pretty much given up on contact lenses. It’s easier just to pull on my thick, spinster-style glasses in the morning.

Worst of all (and it pains me to even share this) I wore yoga pants to the mall!

I’ve reached the point where the dog, in her jaunty sweaters, in dressing better than me.

If my sailor doesn’t come home soon, he won’t recognize me.

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8 thoughts on “Worst of all . . .

    • It’s a slippery slope–today it’s yoga pants to the mall . . . tomorrow I’ll be running out to pick up a jug of milk with wet hair. Wait–I’ve done that, too! Of course I ran into a Tae Kwon Do dad (why do we always see people we know when we’re looking our absolute worst?) He asked if I’d just been swimming and I had to admit I was just too lazy to dry my hair before going out.

      • Haha…I have gone to work with wet hair on more than one occasion. I totally get it though – we always run into people we know when we look like crap – at least I do too! Yoga pants AND wet hair – not horrible 🙂 Hang in there!!

      • Trying to see the positive–at least people realize I do wash my hair if they see me out in public with it dripping wet. Maybe they think I’m super fit, too, when they see me out and about in my yoga pants!

    • It’s reassuring to learn there’s a limit to how deep my dust will get! I just have a few years to go before reaching optimal levels. I’m amazed at how much my little dog sheds. She’s not a very hairy dog and has very little surface area, but somehow the fur ends up everywhere, in great quantities. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was entertaining polar bears at the house when we’re out.

  1. Love the angora mantle piece. I have one too – and no longer feel bad about it! A great bit of writing thanks.

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